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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382228">First Burn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou'>sharedwithyou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Angstangstangst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:42:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by First Burn from Hamilton</p><p>Series of Love Letters and aftermath</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki (Marvel) &amp; Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Loki/Tony Stark/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>First Burn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWings411/gifts">AngelWings411</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Birthday to my dear friend Harley!</p><p>AU where Loki is just in Asgard and not on the run/rebelling/etc</p><p>Series of letters/aftermath</p><p>Enjoy lovelies! Leave me a comment if you like!! </p><p>Xoxo Bucky</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So she returns in her humiliation.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He fades and reappears behind you, and the two of you watch the fireball you just shot at him burn away the tapestry on the wall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shouldn’t you be silver-tongued? Why are your words so venomous when they’re pointed at me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I care too much to lie to you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He reaches out to put his hand in your shoulder, but pauses in indecision. You teleport away; two can play away the game.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know how to comfort you. His practiced diplomacy, honeyed speech, all dry up in his mouth when you step into his presence.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dear (y/n),</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not sure if Thor will deliver this, but I’m hoping he does. I’m not as charismatic on paper, so just imagine my winning smile as you read this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wish you hadn’t gone back to Asgard. I had so much more to teach you. James Bond, lacrosse, and cotton candy! Can’t believe I never took you to a fair. Your sweet tooth would definitely be satisfied. Come visit soon!</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cheers,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tony</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You look around your room, everything exactly the way you’d left it months ago. You know the maids have cleaned regularly, but nothing has been moved. You know Loki had them under strict orders to not touch anything unless absolutely necessary.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He took care of your belongings, because he could no longer take care of you. You knew it, but he never said it out loud, so he shouldn’t get credit for it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was always his way. Sharp tongue, soft heart. But the latter does not excuse the former.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You pull the teddy bear off your bed without moving and it lands squarely in your palm. Your telekinesis is flawless; not that it mattered when you were packing. You’d wanted to feel the fabric of the dresses that you hadn’t worn in so long, having traded the traditional garb for t-shirts and jeans. It was nostalgic and symbolic all at once. Returning to your homeland, returning to your old clothes and old customs, returning to the old (y/n).</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The (y/n) who was an excellent strategist; who should’ve caught on much sooner.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You rip the head off the bear and fling it against the wall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hey (y/n), </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Does that sound less stilted? I don’t know if they use emoticons in Asgard so just know I’m smiling as I’m writing this. Thank you for the gift of scrolls. Next time please send non-perishable foods. I do too much reading for my job so I can’t enjoy any literature in my free time. If Thor mentions something about Playboy magazines, he is a filthy liar.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I’ve included some of the most popular brands of chocolates for you to try. There should be exactly 69 kinds. It’s a lucky number. If there’s less, please hold Thor responsible. When you visit we’ll tour some candy factories and get you a bunch of them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I’m also sending a stuffed animal, so it can hug you when I can’t. I sprayed some of my cologne on it so it will remind you of me.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yours,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tony</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You roam your eyes over the walls, pictures of your shame watching over you. Your first time on a roller coaster, screaming with excitement as he held onto your hat so it wouldn’t fly off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Your first county fair, petting a llama with cotton candy all over your face. Pink, blue, soft and sticky, he’d been right; your sweet tooth was more than satisfied. So were his lips, stained from yours when you made out in the photo booth.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Your first 3D movie, the glasses way too big for you, as you reached into nothing, trying to catch the bouncing ball. He’d teased you about it until you vanished before his eyes and scared the shit out of him. Loki has warned you not to use your powers; but if you hadn’t listened to his warning about falling for the Iron Heart, you wouldn’t bother with this small detail.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You clenched your fist and watched the pictures crumple, the glass splintering off the frames.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You wouldn’t force the maids to sweep this; you were more than capable of cleaning up after yourself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cleaning up the mess of your painful embarrassment.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sweet (y/n),</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I sealed this three times over so Thor wouldn’t read it. I know we’d get in trouble if they knew. But I don’t regret it one bit. When I close my eyes I see your smile, and it drives me crazy. I want to feel your lashes tickling my nose again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I miss you so goddamn much. Please consider moving here like we discussed. Every time I see you step into the lightning to go, my heart aches. I smell you in my blankets, and it makes me want you all over again. I’m counting the days, hours, minutes and seconds til I can hold you again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A million hugs and kisses,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tony</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You wave your hand and the cabinet doors open. Your treasured collection of Midgard footwear.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tall black stilettos with a hint of red peeking from the bottom soles. Slid across a glass counter with a jealous look from the storekeeper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thigh high boots that lace all the way up. Pulled over your leg slowly, his thumbs tracing your skin over and over again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Flower print Wellies with neon laces. Pulled up snuggly over new fuzzy socks after you’d tripped in a puddle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sparkly sandals with bells around the ankle strap. Jingling in the air as he swung you around, dancing among the street musicians.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clear dreamy heels dripping with diamonds. Slipped onto your foot gently, because you were his Cinderella, the woman of his dreams that he’d been looking for his whole life.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Were these once signs of his adoration? Or have they always been examples of his extravagance, his hubris?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The trophies that proved he could seduce a woman from another realm?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You flex your fingers and the fabric peels off strip by strip.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Until all that’s left are the bones of the shoe, crumbling like your devastated soul.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was too harsh earlier.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You turn at the voice and of course standing in front of the door you know you locked is Loki. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You promised never to use that spell again. Ever since you didn’t knock and saw me changing years ago.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks away briefly, because try as he might to present an emotionless front, he knew he’d broken your trust that time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t just leave you alone in here, (y/n). I know how dark your thoughts can be.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not exactly jumping off a cliff now, am I?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He steps towards you, and you back into the cabinet with the destroyed shoes. “I’m fine, Loki.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He narrows his eyes. “We both know that’s a bold-faced lie.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We both know I can handle this. On my own.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He takes a deep breath and stands there, neither leaving nor coming closer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silent as he was when you asked if he’d miss you if you left.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Passive as he was when you told him to make a move or you’d go.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get out.” His inaction irks you, reminds you of the impasse from before.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, he doesn’t move.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he wasn’t the one who cheated, who threw your trust out and stomped on it. But you fault him nonetheless. “I said out.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He searches your eyes, wanting you to understand something he’s not voicing. But if he doesn’t say, how can you know?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“(Y/n)-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“OUT!” You scream and push with all your might, sending him out the door and breaking the lock. If he had knocked and let you open it, this wouldn’t have happened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If he’d told you he cared, if he’d asked you to stay, this wouldn’t have happened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My beautiful (y/n),</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Please don’t make me wait anymore. It hurts so much being apart. I know I can make you happy. Sure, things are different here on Earth. Er, Midgard. I’ll teach you everything you need to have a good life here. I don’t want to spend another moment without you.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I love you, (y/n).</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wanted to tell you in person, but I chickened out. If you give me the chance, I’ll say it every morning for the rest of your life. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All my love,</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tony</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You read each letter, feeling the knife twist deeper with every page. You want to see the gradual descent of the walls around your heart. You were used to closed off love, looking for the tiny glances and hidden smiles to find affection. The warmth that radiated off the page had melted the ice you’d surrounded yourself with. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You know it’s not your fault, that he seemed entirely genuine, and maybe he had been for some time. But looking back you can’t help but wish you’d never fallen for him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To be fair, the lock was broken and the door was wide open, so it’s reasonable that Loki is in your room again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it’s not the right time. The time was long ago, before you’d filled your room with mementos of the man who treated you right, at least for a while. Or maybe before you’d stepped into the lightning with one last longing look at him, hoping he’d stop you. Or maybe even before he’d mocked you for falling in love.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You conjure a flame, aiming it at his face, waiting for him to leave. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stares at you, motionless.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When you release it, he doesn’t move.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck!” You bolt forward and push him out of the way, tripping on the rug in the process.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s the matter? Didn’t you want to hit me?” The words are show no emotion, but his arms are around your waist, catching you before you fall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You always move.” Your voice is small, smothered into his chest as he holds you tightly. “Why didn’t you move?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If it makes you feel better, you can burn me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You let out a laugh-sob and he kisses your forehead. “Don’t feel stupid for falling in love. You deserve love.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You tilt your head up at him. “Do you love me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He steps back and hold you at arm’s length. He’s not ready to answer your question yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t want to give you this, but I think it’s fair for you to decide what to do with this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hands you a folded paper, fingerprints of sweat on it, like he’d agonized about whether or not to give it to you. He probably had.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dear (y/n),</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I’m sorry. I still love you. Please come back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love always,</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tony</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You read it once, because you don’t want to look back and wonder if you did the right thing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then you put it in the pile with the rest of them, in the keepsake box where you’d kept all the letters.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You reach your hand out to Loki and he grasps it firmly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You wave your other hand in the air, and set the box aflame.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You stand back and watch it all burn.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WHEEEEE</p><p>Leave a comment if you like!</p><p>Quick poll 1: which line hit you with the angst </p><p>It’s harley’s birthday so Loki gets to be a good guy ish and Tony is the asshole<br/>Sorry Tony!</p><p>Hope all my lovelies are staying safe n doing well!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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